Character: Jenna Gender: Female Age (range): 26 Style: Comedy Length: 2 minutes Honey, I need to talk to you. (Pause) What I am going to say is not easy for me. It’s something that’s been on my mind for quite some time now and I need to finally get this off my chest. We’ve been together for almost one year and it’s only getting worse.
No, I didn’t cheat on you - just listen. You FART too much! It’s become a serious problem for me. I mean, Jack, it’s affecting our relationship. In the beginning it was okay, passing gas happens to the best of us but it’s become a regular phenomenon with you.
You can’t walk more than ten feet without letting one leak out of your ass! over dinner, you lean off to one side making that strained squish face that you make. It’s repulsive! And you keep carrying on your conversation like nothing ever happened. You used to laugh when you farted. Now, you don’t even acknowledge it occurs.
NO, I do not want you to begin acknowledging it again Jack. I want it to STOP!
The other day at my once a year family gathering picnic. You let out a bomb that made other families leave. Didn’t you even notice that? We had half the park to ourselves because the stench you release is that vulgar.
I don’t care if my brothers get a kick out of it. Okay?! They are seven and nine years old. You embarras me in front of my mother no less. And you know how she is. She thinks your an absolute PIG - SLOB - ANIMAL. Those were her words.
Jack, the farting needs to come to an end. If you can’t hold it in from now on, I’m leaving you. I don’t care if you get stomach pains. It’s ruining our relationship. How many times do I wake up during the night choking on your fumes while you sleep. I never knew of anyone in my life that farts while they sleep until I met you. You wake me up out of a dead sleep. In my dreams I’m getting chased by something. I wake up to realize it’s your stench.
Go see a Doctor. I’ll go with you. Maybe you have some kind of weird gastric problem or something. I don’t know. Maybe it’s what you eat. Maybe you swallow to much air when you talk. Whatever.
Let’s go see a professional because that’s what you need or it’s over Jack.
Character: Gretchen Gender: Female Age (range): 13-17 Style: Comedy Length: 2 minutes
Oh, my gosh. I think I've just come up with the best theory. Teenage life sucks. That's it. I mean, once you hit 13, your life just goes (rocket). All the adults are like "I loved being a teenager!" Ha, sure. Well, I'm sorry but this isn't "Sunshine 70's" anymore. They're just trying to make us feel better. And the little kids are like "I can't wait to be a teenager! It would be so fun much to be older!" Haha, no you don't. No, you really don't.
Okay, first of all, you're in Middle School when it all starts to happen. For some weird reason, it seems like when you're a teenager, all your friends start to turn on you. I mean, at first they're like "Hey, best friend!" and you know, you do the regular things like hang out and stuff. And then once you leave, they go around gossiping "Oh, my gosh, did you know that Gretchen made out with Justin at movies... oh yeah, it was definitely tongue," (what expression) I don't even know a Justin! Then, there's puberty. Actually, I'm not even gonna get into that.
And then there's high school, the black-hole of all teenage life. Once you get there, everything starts to fall apart. First, everyone expects you to be this pencil thin stick or you're considered "fat", but when you are that thin, they just go spreading around that your anorexic! And all through high school, it's nothing but college this or college that, and the college-councilors are not much help about it. They're like "You fail! You lose! You fail at life! You better memorize the phrase 'You want fries with that?'! Grrr! I hate them! I wish they'd die!!!! (Sigh) Where was I? Oh yeah, life sucking. You know what, I'm tired of complaining. So, I just say two things to say: Adults, you're wrong, and kids, get ready.
Gain The Pain
Character: Grace Gender: Female Age (range): 12-16 Style: Drama Length: 2 minutes Background Info: She is talking to her mother in the scene.So just tell me in my cbox which one you think is the best ok?What were you going to say? Let me guess... you're just a kid. That's what it always boils down to, isn't it? But, just like any other human on this planet, I do have feelings. Yes, I do. I feel pain. I feel sadness and sometimes like my life's not worth anything.
But, I'm always too young to understand right? Then tell me, when are my feelings going to count for something? When is my life going to mean something? If us "kids" really are just kidding ourselves, and we just don't experience any true emotions, Then how is it that so many adult are screwed up because their childhood was a mess? You know why? Because they did feel something. It's because no one bothers to pay attention to you because your feelings aren't real.
It happened to you, so what are you letting it happen to me? Your no different than your mother, and her mother before her, your just like everyone else, continuing this... this vicious cycle! Where's it going to stop Mom?